Showing posts with label Pegasus Rampant. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pegasus Rampant. Show all posts

The Screenwriting Bug

Posted Sunday, January 23, 2011, 8:04 PM

Back in November, online bookshop (and more) Amazon.com launched a somewhat controversial new venture, Amazon Studios. The idea is for amateur screenwriters to have an opportunity to showcase their product in a way that hadn't been available before. Instead of going through the messy existing Studio system, something that is still operating in the same way as it did in the 70s, the 50s, even some is legacy from the 20s, which is to say a laborious process that requires you to be listed already in various places within Hollywood before you're allowed to even get noticed let alone be taken seriously, Amazon set up a competition, in association with Warner Brothers Studios, to let anyone upload a completed feature length screenplay and get it read by their judges, and potentially win a large sum of money, perhaps even get it greenlit to be made and earn an even larger sum of money. It didn't matter where you lived, how old you were, or who you knew, this was a real opportunity to get your film noticed by genuine Producers and Directors associated with a huge Studio.

There are, however, inevitably a few catches. One of the biggest is that they Option your script for 18 months. That is, they have first refusal on whether the screenplay can be developed during that time. Sometimes when Studios Option scripts they will pay the author a nominal fee, occasionally as little as a few dollars, but also sometimes many thousands. Amazon is paying nothing to anyone, and yet every script that is entered, potential winner or not, is now trapped in their system. None of them can be submitted to any other Studio until the 18 months are up. And even after that there's some additional jiggery pokery that may keep it locked up for even longer.

The rules also allow for, and encourage, other people to read and rewrite your screenplay. This may be the most controversial part of the whole deal, as nobody wants their work to be trodden on by some clumsy idiot who thinks it needs more gore or their sense of comedy is more fart jokes. But that's part of the potential deal, so you have to accept that.

In the real Hollywood approach to rewrites, your screenplay is sold for a nice hefty sum before it can be rewritten, and it's usually taken over by experienced professionals, with a promise of screen credit. It may turn your original idea into something unrecognisable to you, but if your core idea remains, you get some amount of respect for your contribution.

I don't think the rewriting side of things at Amazon Studios has been too successful, as that's a lot of work for someone to put in for almost no real gain. I think it's one of those ideas they came up with at 2am to encourage interactivity amongst contributors, but in reality was a nutty plan that wouldn't ever work very well.

They have a third part to the competition, which is completely ridiculous, which is to get people to take an uploaded script and make an entire full length film of it. No budget, so it can be rough as guts, but that has the biggest potential return as the largest prize goes to the winning film. It's hard enough to find the time to make a ten minute short, there's no way anyone can make anything halfway watchable that is supposed to be 90 minutes long. It would take six months just to organise it, let alone shoot it, and the end result won't be any better than an Ed Wood film.

Anyway, I submitted my first and only completed screenplay, Pegasus Rampant, PDF copy available here, to their competition, because I knew it was never going to be actually made, especially as it's just sitting on my hard drive, and I need some more feedback so I can learn to write more, and do it better. I figured that overall it was worth the minor inconvenience of the restrictive rules. I wouldn't do it for every screenplay I may end up writing, but for this one time it's an educational experience if nothing else.

I put it online in November, but after 8 weeks it's only been downloaded less than 30 times. I have no idea how often it's actually been read, but I would guess less than half of them have bothered, perhaps as few as only two or three. Committing time to reading a 100 page screenplay is something most people can't easily spare.

So even though it's been downloaded only an average amount of times (plenty of other screenplays have had less downloads than I have, but some have had hundreds more - though I think some are cheating by getting friends and family to repeatedly download and leave fake reviews to game the system) it has had no actual reviews at all, at least on the Amazon site. I did ask some friends elsewhere to help me out by reviewing it, and one guy did, which was very considerate of him, and he had some good advice too. But one review is not quite what I had hoped for, really.

I don't even know if my screenplay was read by the Judges. They claim every single entry was given at least a once over before being accepted or rejected, but I've seen no proof of that beyond vague reassurances. Perhaps my screenplay is prize-winning genius but they just haven't read it. Doubt it, but you never know.

I did not get into the finalists for the first competition, so I don't really expect to be in the finalists for any others (all screenplays are automatically eligible for all ongoing monthly contests) because if it's rejected for one, why be accepted for others, even if I upload a new draft? Unlikely, but then as the competition starts to crumble due to the dodgy rules, maybe things will change in my favour.

Here's a site with some reaction to the mess and potential opportunity the Amazon Studios competition has garnered. It's a somewhat angry and poorly constructed site, but its points are reasonably made, and are a realistic appraisal of the whole situation.

I've been adjusting the screenplay since the aforementioned considerate review, and thus getting back into creative pursuits again, after a deadening few months where I've been out of sorts trying to get my life in order. This has inspired me to return to a script I had begun a year or so ago that had been left incomplete, one that I had always considered an exciting tale and a lot of fun. And in order to get into the right frame of mind for getting back to it, I thought I'd look through some artwork online to inspire me, and before I knew it I had gathered together a few resources to make my own image.

Flintlock: A dashing 18th Century Highwayman is enlisted by a covert Government agency to protect the King from spies and saboteurs. A swashbuckling romance of magnificent adventure, devious espionage, and villainous treachery.

In this image, which is desktop-wallpaper-sized at 1680x1050, the picture of Flintlock himself, the Highwayman, is actually a composite of 7 different images blended together. The face, the mask, the hat, the coat (x2), the hands, and the pistols are all separate pics I found that I cut up and pieced together, trying to match lighting, angles, and colours to get it right. Then I added in text, more flintlock pistol iconography, and textured the bejesus out of it, and huzzah. I think it has a lot of atmosphere, and is quite inspiring.

So after I've written up the new draft of Pegasus Rampant, it's back onto Flintlock, I reckon.

Alessandra, Magda, Caprica

Posted Saturday, February 20, 2010, 10:26 PM


Another desktop wallpaper, this time of two of the stars of the new show Caprica, which is the prequel series for Battlestar Galactica, covering the gestation of the Cylons.

On the left there is Alessandra Torresani, who plays Zoe Graystone, who dies in the first episode, but her video game avatar lives on inside the body of a robot; and on the right is Magda Apanowicz, who plays Lacy Rand, Zoe's best friend who was unwittingly caught up in the terrorist act that Zoe was killed during.

The original pic is a promo image for the show, but was in portrait orientation. I cut them out of the background, which was a wall of the set from the show, and layered in my own gradients to blend it into the landscape-oriented blank space to the right of the image. Then I just added in the title and their names.

The reason I chose this image is because Magda Apanowicz played my favourite character in the show Kyle XY, and after it was cancelled I was immediately interested in what she was going to do next.

It occurred to me as I was putting this pic together that Magda would be ideal to play Wren in Pegasus Rampant. If it were ever to get made (and it won't, this I know) she would be the kind of actress Wren would have to be played by: the tomboy-next-door.

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Pegasus Regent

Posted Monday, October 5, 2009, 5:00 PM


I probably shouldn't be doing this.

I have two other screenplays I want to write, but both of those have struck problems. One has a plot that needs to be completely re-configured, and the other has a huge stumbling block I can't figure out and is spinning me in circles.

But Rob and I were chatting the other day, and he said "I am just waiting for you to write the sequel to Pegasus Rampant." Well, I told him I don't really have a complete story for that one yet, and anyway I want to have it read by people who really count first, to boost my confidence and set me on the right path, before I start writing sequels to it.

But as I was stuck on the aforementioned two other screenplays, I have been thinking some more about what little story I had already formulated for this sequel. For one thing, I had already come up with a title - Pegasus Trampled. At first I thought that was a decent title (the next sequel is called Pegasus Triumphant, which I think is perfect) but thinking back on it, it's actually awkward and cheesy. So I looked up a rhyming dictionary, and narrowed it down to a few other options, eventually choosing to change the title to Pegasus Regent.

That change just sparked more ideas, which allowed me to fill in most of the blanks for the storyline. And I have that sitting there, looking up at me with those big brown sad eyes... I can't stop myself.

I really ought to be working on some other stuff entirely, but... I guess sticking with what I know best (Fantasy, and characters I'm already familiar with) and a complete storyline mapped out ready, is a better plan. Really.

At least, that's what I'm telling myself.

It's Not What You Know, It's Who You Know

Posted Tuesday, September 22, 2009, 12:38 PM


It's a frustrating thing that I believe I'm a good writer, and yet I don't have the patience and dedication to self-motivate. The best motivation for me is to do something for another person, preferably under a strict deadline. I'm good with deadlines. But when I'm doing it for myself, I can wangle an excuse to get out of doing the work at every step.

I am not a professional writer, and I may never be one. I will probably, like most people, be an amateur my whole life, unless an unexpected opportunity arises. Therefore I will only write on my own time, ergo my only motivation to keep writing at any given moment can only be my own dedication to the task. As I am inherently lazy, that is not likely to be a productive method of working.

Unexpected opportunities do arise for some people from time to time, but the best way to achieve success is to go seeking it yourself. You can't rely on things falling into your lap from out of the sky. I live in constant hope that this method will work one day, but it hasn't thus far.

Of all the different kinds of writing jobs there are out there, many of which I have dabbled in from time to time, I think I'm not cut out to be a novelist, poet, lyricist, journalist, or TV writer. But I do think I'd be pretty good as a movie scriptwriter.

How do I become a movie screenwriter, then? Sitting around ain't making things happen, so I must motivate myself to take the next step. And the next step appears to be to find an Agent who will represent me and put my work forward to the people that count so they will hire me.

How do I find such an Agent? Unfortunately, the way things work in this bizarre industry, it's not like an Acting Agent or a Fiction Publishing Agent; I can't just locate a Screenwriting Agent in the yellow pages and rock up to their office for an appointment. No, the way it's done is, they have to find me instead. Somehow my skills and interest in the industry has to be noticed by somebody who already has connections, and then that person drops my name through the right channels, and then the Agent follows the trail back to me.

Craaaaaazy!

I don't think that's the exclusive method, but it does seem to be the prevailing one. And it is harder when I am way down here in Australia, while most movie-related people live in California, a considerable amount of ocean away.

I am putting the feelers out, though really I don't even know how to achieve that much. It doesn't take much to be left adrift in this particular branch of the business.

I am lost, and yet... I also have a rather strong feeling of there being something big for me juuuust around the corner.

So close...

Snail's Pace Start To The Year

Posted Monday, January 12, 2009, 8:23 PM


Even though a year is something of an artificial construct, and even though I am not employed nor have any kind of personal commitments, there's something about the slowdown at the end of a year, that causes an equal amount of slow build up back to speed at the start of a new year.

I have many things to complete sometime in the next few weeks, and yet I feel like I'm not making any progress.

Checkpoint effects are still rendering. It's taken aaaaaages to render the 150 frames, it's been three weeks and still a few days yet to go.

Horizon is beginning to kick in, as new decisions are being made, and some events are being scheduled. Cast, shooting schedule, shot list, wardrobe, camera, all making progress. The rest, things like the cockpit, locations, catering, and the actual shooting of it all, are still to be figured out. Money spent so far - nothing, it's still all only potentially spent.

Pegasus Rampant, my screenplay, has gone through a couple of superficial improvements, like brushing up on descriptive text, and adjustments to dialogue to re-emphasise different character and plot points. And I have gotten some more feedback on it, which has helped me look at some of the things I have done in it in a new light. I've just sent it off to a relative of a friend, who is apparently experienced in the world of entertainment, so may have some special insight. If nothing else it's a new set of independent eyes to give it a once-over.

Money, also known as employment. I am reaching a point where my abundance of spending cash is not as big as it once was, and it's starting to almost reach a point where it's going to be a worrisome and stressful factor that will need addressing. Basically, I may have to get a job soon. Typically this coincides with a global economic crisis that is causing a downturn in employment numbers. Bugger. As well as the fact that I like my life as it currently is, where I have the freedom to live as I wish and do what I like at my own pace, something which, as soon as you get a job, is robbed from you. It sucks I will have to one day say goodbye to this. If only money fell on me from out of the sky - but I can't hope for that kind of nonsense, it won't get me anywhere. So needs must.

All other things. There's lots of stuff going round in my head, that could be fun to do in potentia but I don't know if or how I should begin it all. I ought to finish all of the above first.

It sounds like a lot of things, when I list them out like this, but they are each going at a very stately pace, and some aren't moving much at all. It's an illusion. And I still feel kind of in a daze and lack motivation.

Frankly, I need a kick up the bum to get me enthusiastic again.

Things What I Have Liked In 2008

Posted Monday, December 29, 2008, 4:54 PM


I have seen many movies and TV shows this year, many of which I have greatly enjoyed. Some I have not enjoyed, and most are somewhere in the middle.

I have also done some cool personal things which are of note.

Here are my lists of those things for 2008.

Firstly the movies.

These are the ones I liked, the ones I thought were acceptable, and the ones I haven't yet seen but certainly plan to, with the expectation that they'll be fun. I have not listed the bad movies, because I tend to weed them out before I watch them. I have a pretty good radar for that sort of thing.

COOL MOVIES:
The Dark Knight
Wall-E
The Spiderwick Chronicles
Prince Caspian
Kung Fu Panda
The Incredible Hulk
Get Smart
Hellboy II: The Golden Army

AVERAGE MOVIES:
Iron Man
Horton Hears A Who
Nim's Island
Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull
Wanted
Hancock

NOT YET SEEN MOVIES:
Valkyrie
The Tale of Despereaux
The Day The Earth Stood Still
Transporter 3
Bolt
Quantum Of Solace
City Of Ember
Igor
Death Race
The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor
Speed Racer
The Forbidden Kingdom

+++

Next are the TV Shows.

As well as the shows that debuted this year, I have also watched a whole bunch of shows from previous years that I missed at that time, having discovered the magic of downloading them, while also experiencing the crap of premature cancellation of some great stuff. And of course, seeing more of my favourites.

COOL TV SHOWS:
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
Chuck
Reaper
Pushing Daisies
The Mentalist
Burn Notice
Eureka
Kyle XY
Lark Rise To Candleford
Merlin
My Own Worst Enemy

AVERAGE TV SHOWS:
Eleventh Hour
Crusoe
Torchwood

OLDER TV SHOWS I LOVE:
NCIS
Monk
Numb3rs
Doctor Who
Battlestar Galactica
Heroes
Lost
Mythbusters
Time Team

+++

And then there's my personal stuff.

I've done some things this year that are new and I've not done before, and some other things that I have done before but were the best ever so far.

COOL STUFF I DID:
Started a blog
Rob's WWII short film: Checkpoint
Began my short film: Horizon
Wrote my first feature length screenplay: Pegasus Rampant
Visual Effects for Dags's short film: Reality Check

3D MODELLING ACHIEVEMENTS:
Railway Locomotive
Jet Fighter Plane
Dragon
Judge Dredd and his Lawmaster Bike
PigeonMan's Car
French Cafe Exterior
French Cafe Interior
DC3 Plane
Space Shuttle

+++

Gee. When you list it all out like that, it seems like a hell of a lot!

Pegasus Rampant - The Third Draft

Posted Tuesday, December 23, 2008, 12:01 AM


About six weeks ago, I started receiving reviews of my first feature length screenplay, Pegasus Rampant. They had lots to say, a lot of it good, but also a lot of it critical.

But the good kind of criticism, the kind that was helpful. Pointing out the weak spots, the technical mistakes, and what to concentrate on in the next draft.

Well, the next draft has been completed. It meant going through it carefully and tightening up the dialogue, to eliminate repetition and extraneous words, and to make the pace speed up considerably. It surprised me how much of it was long and unwieldy and could be reduced to sometimes only a third as long.

One particular character was not intended to have a very strong arc to his story, but they drew my attention to how important it was for him in paticular to have one, so I added that in. It didn't take much to do it, and it really did make the story better and the relationships between the characters more realistic.

The fight and battle scenes needed to be expanded on. Just saying "they fight" and letting the stunt arranger fill in the blanks is not acceptable in a spec script, so I had no choice but to put in the additional detail that they needed. They're possibly still a little too thin, but they are good enough to show the main beats of the fight, and they add some character motivation too, so that's good. And another thing it did, unexpectedly, was let me add in an extra plot point that wasn't there originally, and which adds an interesting texture to the whole story and the world it's set in.

There was a lot more I did to fix it up too, but they were subtle things like changing a single word in the dialogue or description to help emphasise some character beats or add visual imagery to the scene.

There is still room for improvement. I recently bought a book about scriptwriting, and reading it will give me new insight into how characters can and should behave in a story to make it zing, so I will read through that and hopefully it will inspire me, perhaps to formulate character moments, and give it some energy where it needs it.

But the plot is just where I want it. I don't anticipate much of that changing in any further drafts. Most of my emphasis will be on strengthening the dialogue and characters.

One day I will figure all this story writing business out, and approach it already knowing what I'm doing. Who knows, I may even sell one some day.

Pegasus Rampant - The Characters

Posted Thursday, December 18, 2008, 11:03 PM

Because I am writing a movie screenplay, I can't help but think of it as though it was a movie playing out in my mind. This means a fairly clear image of the characters should be in my head.

Unfortunately, finding the right words to describe the characters so that, when others read it, they see them in their head the same way, is not a skill I particularly excel at. I can certainly write their behaviour very clearly, as the story plays out, and I do write a simple physical description upon their introduction, with additions as and when new plot situations require it. But they aren't really very vivid.

For example, one of the main characters in Pegasus Rampant is Wren, who I describe thus:

    A young woman, dressed in light leather armour. Lean and strong, her hair is dirty and cut short, though under the rough appearance she is boyishly attractive.

Well, that's broad enough to give an idea of who she is, but I don't specify too many details. Casting would already be limited enough to find an actor who fits the absolute requirements, no need to specify the negotiable ones.

Is that enough of a description for you to imagine what she might look like? When I go on to describe her as a Mercenary, in this Mediaeval era film, does that add to the image?

I am a visual person, an artist, and when I think of characters I like to firm them in my mind with a sketch. But my drawing skills are rudimentary, and lately under-practised, so my attempts to sketch an image of Wren have not been very successful so far.

I am consistently disappointed by the way most Fantasy artists portray female warriors. They always have them in impractical clothing, sometimes only bikinis, with exposed flesh everywhere! No armour to speak of, no sense that they're trying to protect against a weapon. That's just absurd!

I don't mind a little bit of exposed skin, but that should be for showing off muscle tone and scars, and maybe a tribal tattoo. They shouldn't be looking like beauty contest finalists parading on a catwalk!

So when I draw my warriors, I try to give them more realistic layers of armour, chainmail, leather jerkins, bracers, boots, etc. They have to be something you can walk around in, be flexible enough to fight in, be comfortable in all weather conditions, and protect you against weapons. Not expose you to the cold, be too heavy to stand up in, or let you be vulnerable to blades!

The other day I was in a Video Rental store, wandering around, and I saw a cover of a DVD that I really liked. The movie isn't anything to write home about, though. I looked at the image of the kick-boxing woman and thought "that's a great image with the perfect pose and build for Wren. If only she wasn't wearing those modern clothes..."

I looked up the image when I got home, and thought about drawing over the top of her to give her a Wren-like look, but soon realised I could do better than that - I could source each individual element of her clothing and distort and recolour them to fit the figure, creating a more photorealistic kind of conceptual art.

After a few hours work (I was up until 2am tweaking it) I came away from it pleased with the result. It's not perfect, but for a quick collage of disparate elements it's pretty good, and a close representation of the character's appearance.

The adjustments I would make, looking at it now, are things like perhaps a slightly prettier face, and a happier expression (I was trapped by the fact that the original image was of someone recently beaten up in a kickboxing fight) and a few more period-ish items of clothing, such as lacings for the jerkin, or some studs on the chain-mail. But that's just being picky.

I am often surprised with what I'm capable of doing when I put my mind to it. Things that seem daunting or unlikely to work often turn out a lot better than I had realistically initially hoped, and this is one of them.

Pegasus Rampant: The Reviews

Posted Friday, November 14, 2008, 11:19 PM


I mentioned my intention to write a screenplay on a messageboard website, and someone there pointed me to somewhere online that reviews them, with the intent to learn how to improve technique and storytelling, rather than just to be criticised.

When I visited there, they also suggested various different pieces of software to help with accurate formatting. This included a new program that was open source, and therefore free, so I thought "that's just within my budget!" and downloaded a copy.

It's called CeltX, and is an excellent way to get things looking professional, without having to labour over the small details. Basically you just keep writing, and it does the rest for you with barely any need for you to look up from your keyboard.

It also has scheduling tools, space for meta information like notes and tags, output to PDF, and loads more features than I could possibly want. Outstanding.

Having completed my second draft of Pegasus Rampant to my own satisfaction, I uploaded it to the reviews website. In order to get a response I need to review other scripts also, as that's a way to engender a positive and helpful community. It also meant I could learn from experienced writers how to do it properly.

Though it also showed what not to do, because a couple of the scripts I've reviewed so far are not especially well written. I personally thought my own script was much better than those, though admittedly not as good as the others I've read so far.

But then, probably most writers think that about their own work. Now that I have had some encouraging reviews of my script, I can also see what their suggestions and hints and guidance has shown me - that my first attempt really was full of first-time amateur's mistakes.

Having said that, they mostly seem to like the story, and enjoy the characters, but I did write them sometimes too inconsistently, and there are a few loose ends that ought to be tightened up or rewritten. It just needs more impact. I think it is a very even script, but that means dull and monotonous. It needs higher peaks, lower troughs, and more of them. I'm cool with that. I can see that most of what they said is spot on, and definitely needs addressing.

The key technical mistake I made is that there's a difference between a shooting script and a speculative script. A shooting script is for the director, cast, and crew to read, so it has camera information, shot angles, scene numbers, sound effects, music cues, etc. But it's not my job to put those in when there's no director to read it yet - my job is to write a script that entices and interests people, so that they read it to the end, and are desperate to sign me up as their screenwriter. Therefore a spec script must have no camera angle information, and instead concentrate entirely on the story, the characters, the action; basically the imagery and the emotional beats. My problem was I was mixing the two kinds of script up, which is a classic beginner's mistake.

One of the reviewers said "I note it is an early draft. You will find by about draft six that significant changes will have been made!" Draft six! Crikey!

But she is most likely right. In my next draft I probably will change a few plot points, but in doing so I will have to wrangle them into line with my main story, which is a thread I hope I won't have to change too much. But even if I do, and reading their ideas I think it's inevitable, then it will turn into something quite different. I'm actually quite excited about that, though, as it means I get to create some new stuff. I hope it won't collapse into a struggle for me to deal with, and it will flow as easily as it did originally.

One thing that is a little bit hard to explain to them, though, is that as I was inspired to write this by watching a low budget TV movie from the Sci-Fi Channel that I thought I could do a better job with, I'm intentionally not aiming very high. It's not meant to be an epic fantasy like Willow or NeverEnding Story, it's really meant to be filler for a Sunday evening's TV viewing. I'd be happy if it went straight to DVD and was only available in the bargain bin.

Not that I don't have some amount of pride in the effort, because I most definitely do. It contains characters and situations that I love, and I put a lot of effort in making them feel like the kind of things that I enjoy seeing, in the hope that people like me would have a good time watching it.

But I also know that it is no literary masterpiece or visual spectacle. It's just a bit of a laugh.

I will work on draft 3 over the next few weeks, and see if I can address all the criticisms so that I have a better spec script, and a better film, at the end of it.

Writing Is Not Easy

Posted Saturday, September 13, 2008, 12:32 AM


I've been writing the second draft of my screenplay off and on these past few weeks, working through some of the problems.

Having had to introduce a whole new subplot to beef up the energy level it needed, and to keep some of the characters active through the plot, hasn't exactly introduced new problems into the plotting, like I thought it might; It has actually made it a much better story.

But what it has done is introduce problems with the pacing. Having to weave through this new, more exciting thread has interfered with the story structure already in place. Now I have to interrupt or bookend a quiet scene with an exciting action packed scene. Or worse, shunt up an action scene in one location, up against another action scene happening in a different location.

I've seen that work in a film, but I'm not talented or experienced enough to know what the trick is for it. Luckily I don't really have to be too strict in how each scene works together, as in the editing process there's plenty of opportunity to swap and alter and adjust to suit. But having said that, getting the scenes to at least work chronologically, and not be too jarring or confusing to read, is also an important skill to refine. After all, there isn't actually going to be an editing process, as the film is not intended to be made.

I think I'm doing okay. For every change I make that bothers me at its potential for distorting my story, there's another subsequent scene that pulls it back on track and keeps it flowing smoothly. It surprises me how successful it has been so far, to the point where I'm wondering if that means I'm missing something important. I probably am.

I should have this draft complete soon, and will then hand it over to a couple of people I trust to review it. I'll be looking for feedback on my abilities to write cohesively, entertainingly, and with the right level of detail to conjure up the imagery and characterisations I am hoping to depict. I expect I'll get a fair amount of notes, some of them harsh, and perhaps some of them suggesting dramatic changes in the story.

But I hope they'll generally be favourable enough to encourage me to keep going. And then hopefully I'll be buoyed up enough to write something new.

Pegasus Rampant - The Second Draft

Posted Friday, August 29, 2008, 10:01 PM


Writing, they say, is not easy. Just when you think you're on top of things, that you have a great story, an excellent grasp of the characters, and the whole thing is coming together perfectly, something comes along that throws a spanner in the works and totally throws you off your game.

I am halfway through the second draft of my movie script, that I'm writing for my own personal 'writing exercise' experience. I like most of what I'm doing with it; I like my characters; I like the story; I like how many of the scenes unfold and play out; but I have, inevitably, struck a problem. It doesn't, as it stands, work as a movie.

It'd probably be fine if I adapted and expanded the plot into a novel (though it probably wouldn't sell very well and I wouldn't be lauded as the next JK Rowling or anything). And it might work as a comic book, played out episodically. Perhaps. And if I picked a few scenes out to make as a short film it'd be quite promising, I hope. But that's not what I'm doing with it - I'm writing it as an exercise in feature film screenplay writing, so it therefore has to work as a feature film, or else it's a failure.

I noticed early on that the motivations for the characters to go on their adventure were weakly realised, so I knew that in the second draft I would have to add some urgency and intensity to the beginning. I figured out the kind of things I wanted to do but it couldn't be anything too intense, as it would push the rest of the story in directions I didn't want it to go. So it had to be small enough to not impact the story too much, but big enough to add much needed energy to the plot.

Then I realised my bad guy was too static; he wasn't shown as much of a threat until near the end. So I had to introduce his machinations earlier in the story. However, I combined the two problems into one, and now I have my antagonist introduce a sub-plot into the storyline that is continually woven throughout.

But my worst fears are potentially going to be realised: the new sub-plot is threatening to impact the existing storyline, the parts that I already am very happy with. If this means I have to rip out and rearrange that part of the tale, then I will be very disappointed.

Writers will tell you that such things are often the way it goes, and it must be done without sentimentality. Improvement in the final story is all that matters. But, nevertheless, it will be heartbreaking if that's what I have to do.

So I am desperately trying to weave in this sub-plot in ways that will only expand and motivate the characters, and not so it pulls the story down a different track.

The irony is, if I hadn't recognised the problem I saw in the early parts of the story, and had made the finished film as it was in the first draft, it would've been just as good as the B-Movie fantasy flicks that are so often made, as they tend to have plot holes and discrepancies throughout. But my goal is to make something better than that, to prove it can be done if you put the effort in.

And the irony in that is that if I actually sold it and it got made, they'd probably strip out all the things I think are great, and jam in more sword fights and giant monsters, turning it into a mess that doesn't resemble my story hardly at all. Writing scripts is too often a hack and slash exercise, that when it gets released and people dismiss it as rubbish, often blame the poor writing, even though the script they actually put together was a marvellous whimsical joyride of a story, and not the explosion and effects-fest that the idiot director turned it into.

Anyway, the point is I am at a difficult stage of the creative process, and it's stressing me out a little.

Pegasus Rampant - The First Draft

Posted Monday, August 11, 2008, 9:15 PM


I have just completed writing my first ever feature length movie script.

I started it as an experiment to see if I could do it. Having just come off from writing a short film script, and finding it to be a fun and exciting challenge to complete to my own satisfaction, the next step of writing something longer was one I felt enthused by.

A first draft is not going to be very good, but that's deliberate. The trick to it is to just write everything out, the whole story, without refining it too much, just to have it down on paper. As a wise person once said, it's easier to edit existing text, than it is to fill a blank page. So I just wrote it all down with stream-of-consciousness storytelling, because I knew that I would be going back over it again, and again, and perhaps even again, before it's ready to be shown around anywhere.

And it's true, not even halfway through the writing of it, I could see so many things wrong that I would need to adjust and replace and fix up later. Whole plot strands that I thought were important petered out over the course of the story, so I'll have to tidy up those loose ends. Characters I introduced had no follow up, so they'll have to go. Other characters I didn't expect to introduce will need to be referenced earlier in the story to uphold good continuity. Scenes need to be tightened to add excitement and urgency, or lengthened for pacing. And of course, the dialogue will have to be punched up so it sizzles.

But that's the fun of it. As soon as it gets boring I'll stop, but right at this moment I'm rearing to go. I can't wait to get stuck in and make the story better.

I have no illusions that this script would ever get picked up and made. I suppose it might, if I managed to find a way to sell it, but that isn't the point of why I am doing this. It's a personal challenge, a test to see if I am capable of writing a good tale, of completing it to its end, to see if it excites me enough to want to do it a second or third time, and more importantly to see if I can write something that is entirely my own that is as good as (or better than) some of the movies I see actually get made. Can I do it as well as the professionals?

More than likely, if I did manage to sell it, it would be rewritten again by somebody else, then changed again by the Director, and in the Editing, to the point where it wouldn't be the script I wrote after all. That's how the business works, and I have no illusions that my written word is sacrosanct. Even the greatest movies of all time, directed by the greatest movie makers of all time, buggered about with the script to get it into the shape they thought it needed to be. I accept that, though as long as the heart of it was there, if the plot was mostly intact, and if some of the better dialogue was kept, I'd be gloriously happy to see it up on the big screen.

Perhaps one day that will happen.

On Writing

Posted Sunday, July 27, 2008, 7:15 PM


I like to write stories. I remember the first time I realised I had the power to create any story I liked, without the limits that restrict creativity. I was ten years old, and the Teacher said we could write a story with a particular theme (in this case it was a treasure map). Up until then I always struggled to write anything, I found it a chore because the motivation was forced, and the story ideas were on subjects that didn't interest me - usually based on some dull dramatic incident I didn't care about, or even a non-fiction event that had actually happened to me that I had to dredge up and write about. Dull dull dull.

But when I began this story, I suddenly saw opportunities open up each time I wrote a new paragraph; I knew I could introduce a new character whenever I wanted, someone who then would take the story in a new direction when it needed it; I could also invent a location, so that it would look just the way I needed it to, so that certain incidents could occur to serve the story; I could have a conclusion that made a certain amount of sense and which related back to the beginning of the story; and best of all, I could add humour that was natural and real.

Now, this was when I was ten years old. The finished story was only six pages long, and wouldn't exactly set the world alight with my incredible grasp of the written word. But when the story was finished I realised a very important concept: that when you write, you can create anything you want, and have things happen in any way you want, and that kind of freedom, where you aren't restricted by the kind of rules that would mean a boring result, makes writing fun and exciting.

Throughout my teenage years I continued to write stories - some short, some long and involved - and I became quite well known for it. Most of them were silly and absurd wacky stories, inspired by my love for Spike Milligan's Goon Show, but then later, after I gained an interest in Mediaeval Fantasy, a few of my stories started to turn into epic magical adventures.

My biggest problem, though, was completing what I started. And in fact, I still have that problem.

Unfortunately I don't write very often anymore. Partly due to having no time to commit to it, and partly because I am discouraged by my lack of motivation to finish anything I start. But also because I find it hard to be inspired enough to actually commit myself to something like this. I know I really enjoy writing when I get started, so I wish I could find the time to sit down, force myself to self-motivate, and actually get something done a lot more often than I currently do. I need to lock myself away and force it out, even though I know it's not really "forced" once it starts flowing. In fact by the time it gets going, it's usually impossible to stop myself.

In the past I've written many different kinds of work: short stories; long stories; play scripts; TV scripts; movie scripts; even songs and poetry. The most fun I've had, and most motivated I've been, is usually when I am co-writing with another person, because you get to bounce ideas around, complement each other's strengths and weaknesses, and just have a laugh together. In that situation I'm happy to do the actual typing up of what we come up with, as long as I have someone to go to when we see a hole in the plot, or need a new event.

My biggest storytelling weakness is plot - I tend to be very derivative and linear and find it hard to come up with an original idea to bridge a gap. But my biggest storytelling strength is dialogue - I can move the story along with some good naturalistic conversations between characters, along with sparkles of humour. That's my belief, though it's a rare occasion when I can prove it to myself, I write so infrequently these days.

So anyway. Last week, when I was over at Rob's house after my toothy surgery, we talked about movies, as we always do, and watched a couple of DVDs. One of them was a low budget fantasy film that didn't really zing with amazing visuals, or have a particularly clever plot, and the fight scenes were uninspired. But it did have some nice character moments, and there were a couple of good ideas buried in there. However, when viewing those many flaws it made me think "I could do a better job than this!" and when Rob agreed on a few of its weak points, I was somewhat inspired to give my own version a try.

These kinds of films have very low budgets, and so can't have expensive visual effects or epic action sequences. But that doesn't matter - if it's written well enough, has some fun characters, and has the right tone, it will be looked on favourably, be handed a budget, and will be given an opportunity to be made. These films always find an audience at the local DVD rental store, and will easily make their money back. And it occurred to me that I want to be in that position - to be able to write a good enough story that it will at least get made and be watched. It's a great way to get a start in filmmaking, and even easy to make a career in it if you are willing to work in the low budget arena.

I was in something of a state of dizziness after my dental surgery, so I wasn't able to articulate myself to Rob very well that afternoon, and what I wanted to say to him was we should work together on our own fantasy film. Sit down, nut out a plot together, and write it - just for fun. But I never got the chance to articulate my idea properly, I was still a bit dazed and uncomfortable to talk properly, so after getting home, I spent a few hours thinking about what kind of movie I could write that had all the elements I like in an adventure, fit within a low budget, and was better than the one we watched. I even started noting down some plot elements, characters, situations, etc, that I would like to see.

And what amazed me is this: I looked at this list of ideas, and I thought about ways to have them fit together, and I saw a few possibilities and considered them. I saw a few ways to fill in what was missing with some more ideas. Then I assembled them together into something resembling a beginning. Suddenly, from there I saw what the next scene should be. And the next. And then I saw a middle, and a way to bridge them all together. I even saw a possible conclusion.

Next thing I knew I had enough to start writing something down, what's known as a "treatment", which is a rough but complete description of the storyline. I got about two pages into it and got stuck - I realised I had a D and an F but didn't have an E. I also had a pretty good idea what my H was going to be, so had to think about the G.

So I took a break, lay on the couch, and thought about what I'd written so far. Within an hour I had come up with ideas that filled the gaps, perfect Es and Gs, which also sorted out what my N, O and P would be. I leaped up and started filling in my alphabet even further, and was going great guns, until eventually I realised I needed a twist. I knew why the twist was needed, where it would go, and what it would involve, but not what would motivate it.

So I stopped and lay on my couch again, and just thought about what I had written so far... and this is what surprised me the most of all - I came up with something, and this is the point of this whole post, that not only worked as a twist, but fit into the beginning of the story, the middle, the ending, and, most amazing of all, even made the temporary title make sense. All of it suddenly snapped into place, worked so perfectly with each other, filled in all the plot holes I had, and completed my entire story satisfactorily. What's so odd about this is it was an idea that I came up with really late in the game, and yet now it looks like it should've been what the entire story was inspired by!

Writing is a strange beast sometimes. But it is so satisfying when it works.

Now, whether this is actually a good story I'm writing is another matter entirely. First I have to finish the treatment, I'll need to play around with some of the pacing, and then of course actually write it as a script, before I will know if it's all worth it. After that it is extremely unlikely it will actually be made (I have no illusions there. I certainly have no money to make a mediaeval fantasy movie).

But that's not the point. I'm just enjoying the act of writing. It's so much fun!